This is a collection of the biggest news topics of 2014. You cared so much. You were so scared. What happened?
We’re midway through the first month of 2015 and it’s a good time to remind everyone of all the important news items from 2014. Each of these topics should illicit a deep emotional response. It is crucial that recalling these items makes you scared and worried.
What happened to the global pandemic? Where are the millions of cases that were due this month? Don’t forget to be scared of Ebola.
The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
I haven’t heard about anyone dumping ice on their head recently. Everyone cared so much. So many people donated money.
Nobody watched the beheading videos, but they were scared. This group was poised to float across the ocean on their Toyotas and implement Sharia law. They must have had a change of heart.
Malaysia Airlines Flight 17
Remember how much you talked about this? Remember the endless coverage for weeks upon weeks? Flight related disasters are the best, aren’t they?
This one’s been around for a while now. How long until it switches back to global cooling? The good news is Leo has taken on a new role as climate advocate. Look for lots of talk about ocean acidification and methane clouds in 2015.
Russia bad, Putin bad. Repeat after me, Russia bad, Putin bad. This sums up much of the news in 2014.
Look at the vile dictator. We can’t have any talk of reunification. We need to sell weapons to South Korea.
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How can people be so scared, care so much, watch hours of television coverage, discuss these topics ad nauseam, and then never notice when none of it comes to fruition? Do not succumb to fear.